Why does nothing ever work?

Why? I mean seriously why?

• I order a 17" laptop case from Amazon.co.uk
• It takes them over a month to deliver this.
• They send me an invoice for a 17" laptop case, complete with a 15.4" laptop case
• I got on to their tip top customer service who said "When you placed order for "Port Designs Seattle Messenger Bag", it was 17" which was incorrect. Now the correct size is 15" for this item." (Ok so basically you lied? Or potentially this is the first in a series of laptop bag shrinkages that will ravage laptop users worldwide)
• Ok fine, it's no good to me so I try to return it, and get this lovely email going thats fine, click on this magic link to have DHL come and collect the item (things are looking up)
• Go to the website, spend/waste 10 minutes of my time filling out all my details to be greeted with "Customer Verification Access Denied : We have been unable to process your request because the Identifier code has already been used."

I hate returning things, it is always such a hassle. In fact I am so angry I could curse. Fortunately unlike some people, I can spell Fock You. (Focker).

In case you are wondering that is my gift from Saturday's party, although from what I hear I wasn't the only one to fall foul of the sharp tongue of this whisky drinker.

I can't even be bothered to find meaningful lyrics, hence:

"What is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more! Whoa oh oh, oh oh oh, oh whoa, oh oh oh, uhh" - Haddaway (What is love?)