Advice to those making there way home in the wee hours of Sunday morning in Glasgow

After attending a rather good flat warming party in the Tradeston area of Glasgow on Saturday night, and realising that I had inadvertantly missed my *flight* back home, I decided to make my own way home as the prospect of kipping on laminate flooring did not seem altogether inviting.

I am not entirely sure how long this journey took, but during the course of it I had some interesting experiences.

• Witnessed a girl (off her face) going mental at some guy who was with her, screaming, kicking, arms flailing
• Was approached by some random guys who insisted I told them, where I was coming from, the minute I mentioned a flat-warming, they decided to invite themselves along, needless to say, I sent them on a bit of a wild goose chase.
• I became familiar with a Glasgow tradition that I was previously unaquainted with. I am not sure what it is called, but it essentially involves standing in a long queue at a chip shop to purchase an oversized portion of chips (french/freedom fries) (often with cheese), eat a couple of them, and then discard the rest wherever you can, all over the pavement? in a bus shelter? the more imaginitive the better. So far I have come up with 'Chip Toss', 'Wasting food & money' and 'Littering' as potential names for this activity, suggestions welcome.
• There was a seven foot black guy standing in front of me, chatting to this really rough lassie, who was quite unashamedly in the middle of Argyle street telling him she 'wanted his big black cock' at the top of her lungs. *classy* SADIYMB?
• Two guys accused me of jumping the (non-existant) taxi queue, I apologized and asked them where they were headed, it turns out it was a hotel across the street.
• I approached was called 'sweetheart' and then asked if I was looking for 'business' (the answer was of course No).
• When I managed to flag down a taxi, they taxi driver suggested that for such a short journey I should make it worth his while, judging by the previous offer I recieved that night I was a little scared. Fortunately he was talking about money but I ended up paying over the odds for a taxi journey, because it was now approaching 5am and I just wanted to go home! (To be honest, despite consuming several Kronenburgs, I was convinced I could have made a better job of driving the taxi).
• Arrived home safely just after 5.

Despite this, I had a fab time Saturday night, good company, good music (even better sound system), and great photos on the wall. (Apologies for my terrible rendition of Superman's Dead)

'Are you worried about your faith? Kneel down and obey. You're happy you're in love, you need someone to hate. An ordinary girl, and ordinary waist, but ordinary's just not good enough today' - Our Lady Peace (Superman's Dead)